125th Post :)

 

 

First of all I am in love with this song called

‘Dil toh baccha hai ji’

Movie- Ishqia

Music- Vishal Bharadwaj

Lyrics- Gulzar

Singer- Rahat fateh Ali khan

The beats of last year’s Dhan te naa still reverberate in our ears. But, Vishal and Gulzar have moved on. They have embarked on a new journey of ‘Ibn e batuta’ this time with the sound track of Ishqia.

For all who are unaware of the magic that an acoustic guitar can weave listen to the first track on the album- ‘Dil toh baccha hai ji’. The song is beautifully rendered by Rahat Fateh Ali khan. It can be tasted, felt and lived. Very subtle, soft, almost like some one is humming it in your ears. It invokes the ‘innocence’ of our hearts which has disappeared in the hullabaloo of our daily chores. The ‘Ji’ adds the element of ‘adab’ and adds to the simplicity of the song. Gulzar as always expresses it in the simplest yet moving words ‘dar lagta hai tanha sone ko ji,

dil to bachcha hai ji, thoda kachcha hai ji ….”

Please do listen to this song…

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125th post comes with a long short story

It is divided in three parts. hope you enjoy it. If you don’t. then thank you for wasting time anyway 🙂

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The vow of secrecy

She was twenty one now and she had to let it go.

 

Let it all go.

 

She can’t go on leading her life on a stack of lies.

 

She will have to face it.

“Yes I will” said she. And this time she really meant it.

 

Sara Abraham Ghosh was the only daughter of Bina Abraham and Barin Ghosh. The most loved of course and the most pampered as well. Mr. Ghosh was a government servant with the Income Tax department so they never were in the same city for long. Mrs. Bina was a homemaker in the strictest and the truest of the sense.

 

So, now she was twenty one and had by now been in 10 states of India. She liked it this way. She hated clinging on to things for too long. To hold on to things and people and places made her weak. She thought.

 

It was her birthday and her mother was in the hospital when she realised the evanescence of life. Everyone has secrets, but she had way too many of them. And fearing severe to mild consequences she did not ever dare to reveal any one of them to anybody.

 

Ofcourse once when she did that to Rita’s boyfriend. And once more to Mum’s best friend. And the last time with Raghu … As in, they were all their secrets. She was good at keeping her own to her self.

 

Today seeing her most loved person in such a state, hurt her. It hurt her more than she could express. So, she promised herself once her mother was well, she would tell her everything. All the secrets bottled up inside her heart for all these years.

 

So, here she was, ready with a pen and a paper. And she started to write ,right from the childhood: the stolen pen, missing file, mosquito repellent, the broken arm and ofcourse the dead rabbit.

 

Confession no.1

I was nine when we moved into a new apartment at Delhi. Mum your mother gifted you that fluorescent porcelain doll when you were a kid. And you passed on it to me, I knew how precious it was to you. So while I did not ever express my dislike for her. Remember the maid broke her into pieces.

 

 

It was not the maid who broke her arm.

 

 

But I did.

 

Confession no.2

 

You remember dad’s file that went missing in Kolkata store room. I hid it because he never wanted to play with me. He never had the time. So I hid it at the attic, but I do not know where it vanished from there. I just had no clue where it went. The next day when dad was furious and he gave me that “you lousy little kid” look I got scared.

 

 

This is why, I never confessed.

 

Confession no. 3

 

Your maroon cashmere shawl which you think masi stole from you. It is actually still lying in my almirah. You gave it to me once. I know how much you loved the shawl and did not have the courage of telling you the truth.

But the day I was painting my almirah, I spilled some paint on it by mistake.

 

 

It ended up being black.

 

Confession no.4

 

On tenth standard picnic day, eighth standard Puja day and my birthday in 1998, I never took a bath. It was winters time and I used to freeze to death at that time of the year. So when you pushed me inside the bathroom. I never did take a bath. I hated it. So the cold and the fear of being termed lazy (which I was) I lied. To be frank even today there are days when I enter the bathroom and take a nice nap.

 

 

Wash my face and come out pretending “aah, it’s done ;)”.

 

Confession no. 5

 

In tenth standard and eleventh standard I flunked my maths exams.

 

Confession no.6

 

You and dad gifted me this chain that said “SAG” I hated it. I hated as everybody made fun of me and called me ‘saggy’. So I Lied to you that chains are not allowed in school and then I gave it away to our maid’s daughter.

 

 

She loved it.

 

Confession no.7

 

My friend Latika in class 7 was not a bad girl. It was just that she was just too good to believe. So, I cooked up certain stories about her. I framed her and proved she was not right for me. I know we were anyway to move out of the place. But then she was always the perfect one for you.

 

 

I hated it.

 

Confession no. 8

 

That weird looking guy with ugly teeth was my boy friend.

 

 

I am sorry this one I really regret.

 

 

Confession no. 9

 

So far I have watched 3 movies and went out shopping 9 times without your knowledge. Ok the numbers can be a bit high or low.

 

 

Rather higher to be honest.

 

 

Confession …

She heard a knock on the door. “Oh Maa, I was just coming to see you. We can do this later, you should take some rest”said Sara.

 

“No Sara it’s time we should talk. I have been thinking. I have some things to tell” said Bina.

 

Sara wondered what exactly was on her head. “Yes Maa go ahead. I am all ears” said she.

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Chapter 2

 

Bina said, “I have a few confessions to be precise. You know we all live by secrets. And sometimes it’s always good to let them go. I think it’s my time to do that.”

 

 

She continued. “I was nine when your grand ma gave me that porcelain doll. No matter how dear she was to her. Trust me I detested that ugly looking thing to the core. I hated pink colour. I hated dolls. But then we were not allowed to voice out opinions then. So when that maid broke it I felt so proud of her. But knowing that your grandmother was home I had to fire the poor maid.”

 

Sara had the most amusing expression on her face. She smiled. She grinned and let the emotions subside with in her.

 

 

Bina continued, “Once when we were in Kolkata your father had lost his file. You would probably hate me for it. But I hid it. I found it at the attic and he was not giving you due attention. So, I wanted him to give us some time. But, he got mad and you had to face the music. Do you even remember all this. You might be thinking I am getting old”

 

 

Sara remembered it all. But the lump of guilt inside her was now settling down one by one. So, she opened her mouth but words never came out. Like the only thing she was capable of was a nod or sway her head in denial.

Her mother continued, “We all have our own little secrets. I have many many many more. But I just thought of sharing a few. But remember at times they back fire. So, use your secrets wisely my child.” She did not say more and left.

 

 

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Chapter 3

 

In the morning Sara woke up and decided to confess everything in front of her mother. She heard some voices. It was his father in a bad mood. It was not often that he was in a bad mood these days. But today he was a bit upset. Mother was sitting next to him.

 

 

Bina signaled Sara to zip her tongue. As she entered the room her father revealed what he found from her Mother’s closet. He found the Kolkata file after eleven years. And he could not believe her Mother’s child like behaviour.

 

 

He said it could have cost his job at that time. She and her mother had this mischievous smile in their eyes. Both, for their very own reasons.

 

 

When Barin saw them smile he yelled.

 

 

They found it preposterous to lose cool over a file eleven years after it was actually required.

 

Just when, both the women were on the verge of tears he burst out laughing.

 

 

He said “You think you are the only one with secrets Bina. I found that file the very next day and replaced the folder with Sara’s drawings later on.”

 

 

Both the ladies frowned and made faces. After all, some secrets are better not revealed.

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