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You know how it feels when things just don’t go your way. The world conspires against you to make sure good- things never sway your way.
Past few days have been exactly like that. I have been in an horrendous mood. Which is like rarest of the rare case with me. But, the sad bit is that it has stretched too long. I cannot believe i snapped at people for reasons i did not even know existed in my head.
I have hurt people that mean a world to me. Acted like a real bitch. Like i know I am not saying the right words, I am fully aware and still i go ahead and say anything that comes to my mind. At the same time i even try to justify my lost case.
Words, when spoken can never be taken back. Once they pierce through a person’s heart there is no way to mend it. I do not know how to prove that intentions behind the act were . I do not even know what they were. I cannot say i did not intend to do that. Because at the end I am the one who did it. I said those words in complete sanity. I blamed the best person in my life of not loving me.
Insecurity triggered off by I don’t know what. Family has been my driving force my entire life. When things go wrong with them, I seriously am without anchor. For a person who gives me her all.. who loves me more than anybody else on this earth.. ..
why did i even say those words.. Like she is not god that I will expect her to be all OK with it and move on. Though, that is precisely that she has done. But, I know in the nook and corner of her heart she feels really hurt.
I cannot do anything. But whenever i face her in the morning, I feel a lump of guilt and regret stuck in my throat. I feel like crying.. I have done that and that hurts her even more.
I don’t know, I have just ruined it ..
Trying to fight a lost cause…
Loud Music
Sinking
Collapse
Thumping beats
Throbbing hearts
Screams
Chaos
Wires all around
knotted thoughts
entangled
stuck..
Picture- internet, myspace.
Taunts, eh? Yes, they are always a part of this journey called life. Well, just take it positively that they were meant for your good. Or, simply don't care. It depends on the person who is behaving such as well. If he/she is and has been very good to you, he/she ought to be harmless. So, take a while and re-think of what has been told (even if in a harsh manner). There must be goodness in it.
The only way to fix it is a hug and an mature conversation between the two. Someone has got to take the first step to break the ice. You are the one feeling bad. So, why don't you take the first step?
Good luck! By the way, fine lines too. Simple and apt!
Living life without regret is really quite hard. Over my 50+ years I have done plenty.
I hope this episode can be healed and repaired.
I like how you accept responsibility – a rare commodity.
Hang in there.
Brose- thank u.. but actually i am the one who has used taunts as my weapon to hurt the loved one. So, no clue how to fix it..
As cold play song says – lights will guide me home.
Gray quill- hmm exactly.. thank u.. hope i come out of it really soon.. thank u for visiting as well..
Well, in that case, still, communication can be used as an antidote. Good luck!
m readin it 3 days after u posted…so hopin dat alls well now
Catharsis!!!